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Well, everybody, welcome to Prairie Lakes Church this weekend. I'm delighted that you, you're here. And remember friends, we are one church on many corner. So every weekend we gather all across Iowa and beyond, and I'm so grateful that you are here and we're gonna dive right in this weekend.

Okay? So this is week three of a series that we're calling. We don't go to church anymore, which I know is ironic for all of us right now because we're at church right now. Uh, but we're diving into this series where we're looking at, uh, religious trends across America for the past 25 years.

And even though you may go like, Hey, that title, that's not for me. Trust me, this series and this topic today is absolutely for you where you're at right now. And the data that we're using for this series comes from a book.

It's called The Great De Churching. Who's leaving? Why, where are they? Why are they going? And what will it take to bring them back by Jim Davis, Michael Graham and Ryan p Burge. And here's what you need to know. These guys are Christians. They love Jesus, love the church.

So these aren't doomsday prophets, okay? These are people doing real research, providing real hope and answers for the church. And here's how they define a de-churched person. They define 'em this way. Someone who used to go to church at least once a month, but now goes less than once per year.

So Deur people are people that were regular attenders of church but have since stopped attending church. They've disconnected from the church. And here's some statistics on de Churching in America. Look at this. About 15% of American adults living today, 40 million people have effectively stopped going to church mostly in the last 25 years, has even accelerated the last five years.

That is so many people. 40 million people is roughly the population of the entire state of California. That many people in the United States stopped going to church in the past 25 years. And it is true across the board, all categories, denominations, geographic areas of the country, income, ethnicity, even true here in the beautiful state of Iowa.

Now, as you look at this data, what do, what do you feel? Do you feel kinda like sad, frustrated, maybe a little angry, maybe hopeful, like we're gonna be the generation to turn this thing around. Listen, I feel all those things because these aren't just numbers.

These are people. These are people that aren't little Iowa people that, that we go to work with people that we go to school with, people in our neighborhoods, people in our families that have de-churched. And listen, my friends, here's the thing. We need to be the kind of church that doesn't just look at numbers like this and shrug our shoulders.

We need to be the, we don't need to be the kind of church that just doesn't like look at these numbers and shake our fists and wait for Jesus to come back. We need to be the kind of church that prays and acts, the kind of church that loves people and loves our country and our state enough to reach out and invite these people back.

And in this book, the Great de Churching, they find that there's five categories of people that have de-churched. And in this series, we're looking at four of them. And this weekend we're gonna look at a third group called This Church Hurt.

Now, here's what I know for a lot of you right now, just looking at those words, it's already starting to stir some emotion in you. Some of you're already thinking about things in your church past, maybe things that you've had to seek counseling to work through.

Some of you're thinking about someone in your little Iowa who right now is turned off from the church. They stopped going because of something the church said or something the church did. And this topic is really, really sensitive and it's loaded. So I wanna say a couple things by way of disclaimers at the beginning.

First, there is a difference between being offended and being wounded by the church or church leaders. There's a big difference between being offended and being hurt and wounded by the church because listen, we all get offended sometimes, some of us way too easily.

But we all get offended by things. People say things people do, attitudes they have things they don't do. But here's a reality that you need to grab a hold of. Jesus offended people all the time, religious leaders, non-religious people.

He offended people all the time because people needed to be corrected. They needed to be taught truth. They need to be confronted. We are going to get offended all the time about things. But that's not the same thing as church hurt. A church hurt is not getting upset that Pastor John talks about grabbing a beer with somebody.

Church hurt is not getting upset that our church made the decision to call women as pastors and elders. That's a theological difference. That's not a church hurt. Church hurt is not wanting us to teach less topical messages and preach more word, line by line, verse by verse through the Bible.

That's a personal preference. And how do I know those things? Aren't church hurt things? Well, because the people that experience those things go to other churches and they have, that's differences of theology or differences of opinion. That is not church hurt. Church hurt is this.

It's being sinned against in significant ways by pastors, church leadership, or other followers of Jesus. And church hurt is deep. It's caused by sin and not by preferences not being offended, but being sinned against.

And those people that experience church hurt no longer wanna be a part of the church. And so I just wanna say this to you today. If you're tuning in right now, if you're at one of our campuses and you had the courage today to walk into Prairie Lakes Church and you've experienced a lot of hurt, and maybe this is your first time back in a long time, I just wanna say, hey, we're so glad that you're here and we recognize what's been done to you in the past, and I wanna provide some healing and some help today to you in that spot that I think will be helpful to you as you take this journey back to church.

And for the rest of us who know some in our little Iowa who's in that spot of church hurt, I'm gonna equip you with some things to say and do practically that I think will be helpful to you. And I think it'll be helpful to them as well. So when we talk about church hurt, what's the profile of somebody who's been hurt by the church and disconnected?

Well, on average, they're 54 years old, kind of middle age, 65% are women, 35% are, are, are men. Of all the people in the D church category, they have the lowest income in education. They have the highest rates of mental health struggles. In fact, I think the suicidal ideation rate was four times higher with this group.

They still believe though, 72% of these people still call themselves Christians. They got very low trust in institutions in general. So the church has failed them, the government's failed them, politics has failed them. In some cases marriage has failed them.

And so they have very low trust in institutions or authority. And 0% indicated they'd come back. 0% said, I'm willing to come back to church. So you're starting to get a profile of this group of people. Now the question is how did they get there?

What caused this group of people to disconnect from church? 'cause by the way, on average, they found people in this category de church 20 years ago. So they left church. And for many, many years on average, they have not come back. What caused that? Here's some things that causes church hurt in our world today.

Uh, I didn't fit in with the congregation. 23% said that, uh, I didn't experience much love for my congregation. 18% negative experiences in, in evangelical church. 15% of people said, there's significant things said to me or done to me that caused me to disconnect.

I disagree with the politics of the congregation. 15, I disagree with the politics of the clergy. 13. So when you boil it down, there's three primary reasons why people beat church, because of church hurt. And uh, the three things are this, no love or relational connectedness, negative experiences and politics.

Those really are the three things that cause people to go, I'm out. I'm not going to church, I'm not investing in the church. I don't trust the church. I'm done. And so you're probably wondering like, well, what are the things that would happen in a person's life with those three areas that would cause them to disconnect?

I'm gonna give you some examples. And these are examples from real life. These are things that I have either experienced or been told directly that have happened to Christians inside the church. You say, well, no love, no relational connected.

What does that sound like? Well, I talk to people that go like, Hey, I went through a really bad season of health, or I lost someone really, really close to me and the church never reached out. The church never came alongside of me. They didn't support me, they didn't love me, they didn't pray for me.

Boy, when that happens, that causes all kinds of church hurt when they say, I felt alone and unsupported. When it comes to negative experience with negative experiences within the church, it often sounds like this. Hey, at my church, the secretary and the pastor fooled around and they blew up both of their marriages and it caused all kinds of pain in our church.

I've talked to a Christian, this is not a lie, this is not made up. This is real. Who said to me, I left my church because the pastor required my wife and I to bring our tax documents into his office. And then he told us exactly how much we would give to the church.

I'm just like, or how about this? When an elder at the church is my supervisor at work and he's been slandering me and treating me poorly at work or church leadership told me that I had to stay in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship with my husband because it honored God to do that.

Or my uncle was a church leader and he abused me and my siblings for many years. I've heard all kinds of stories just like that. And when it comes to politics and political hurt in the church, it often goes like this. Uh, the pastor preached from the pulpit, there's only one Christian way to vote.

Or the church cared far more about how people voted than actually practicing social justice like the Bible commands or people who disagreed with the theological or political views of the church leadership were marginalized or made fun of.

I could go on and on and on and on. And so could you probably of examples from people who have been wounded and hurt by people that bear the name of Jesus in all kinds of different ways. I've been on both sides of this thing called church hurt. I've been the wounded and the wounder.

Listen, I know, and I just need to confess right now to all of you, I've made decisions and communicated in ways that have hurt people. And at Prairie Lakes Church, I, as a pastor, I've sinned against people that I'm supposed to shepherd and lead.

I've had to make really hard hiring and firing decisions with staffing that I knew were gonna hurt people no matter what I did. I've been slow to respond sometimes I didn't respond to people that were in crisis and needed care. I've made decisions about ministry programming and events that weren't popular that I knew were gonna cause church hurt and division.

And I've said things that I cannot take back, though I wish I could. And I just need to tell you friends, I'm sorry. And you need to know that those things I just referenced and all the stories behind them for me personally caused me to grieve deeply.

I know that I have been a wounder as a Christian, as a man, and as a pastor and seeing those things and even writing this message out this last week caused me to replace some of those. And man, it was hard because I know, I know I've said and done things that have been sinful and hurtful.

And so for those things like you just need to know, like, I'm sorry. And I've also been on the other end. I, I've been wounded by the church during my late college career. I had some significant hurt that was placed upon me by some church leaders and by a church that caused me for four years to spin and question my call and question the church, can I trust?

Could I lead? Would I wanna go back into that environment again? And it took four years to work through that. I've been on both sides of this. But here's what you need to know about church hurt. And there's two phrases here.

I need you to grab a hold of that. Perhaps. The reason why so many people within the church have de-churched is that though they believe in Jesus, they see very little evidence of his life and his love. And the people who claim to know him, just think about that. A lot of these people believe in Jesus, but they don't believe in the church.

They don't trust the church. They don't trust other Christians because they don't see a lot of evidence of Jesus in their lives. And I'll put it another way. Those who de-churched due to church hurt, actually believe that life is better or safer outside the church rather than inside the church because of a lack of Christ's likeness among Christians.

And just, just let that statement, just, just let that sit in your heart for just a second. The fact is so many people experience church from Christians inside the church because Christians don't act like Jesus and they don't trust because Christians don't act like Jesus and they walk away and think, man, life is better outside of the church than inside of the church because of all this stuff I've experienced.

And last week, pastor yesterday talked about how we need to be a sticky church, right? We need to be relational, we need to be connected, we need to be compelling. Well, this week I'm gonna talk about how individual Christians need to follow Jesus and live out our new life in him in such a way that we are a compelling example and a compelling story so that people who have church hurt can look at our lives and go, maybe I could start to trust again and maybe I could walk back in again.

And so here's what I want you to do. I want you to grab your Bible or your phone right now. If you got a Bible or the Bible app on your phone, I want you to get to Colossians chapter three. So we were in Ephesians last month, and we're gonna be really close to that in Colossians right now.

It's a small letter in the New Testament that Paul wrote. It's after first and second Corinthians and small letter. And I love reading this passage in Colossians three at weddings. It's my favorite wedding passage to read because if there ever was a relationship where hurt happens and there needs to be some grace and forgiveness, it's marriage.

And it's no accident that that in Ephesians three 14, Paul uses the church with its relationship with Jesus in comparing Jesus and his relationship to the church. So there's this beautiful picture of like marriage metaphor of Jesus and the church.

Okay? So Colossians three, chapter one, here's what God's word says. Since then, you've been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God and set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

So the first thing he says is that, Hey, Christian follower of Jesus, you have not yet physically died. Good news there. Um, but here's the better news. Uh, you, you haven't received a resurrected body yet, but Paul says, Hey, you've been seated with Christ. You've been raised with Christ. You have resurrected life.

Eternal life, right where you are right now, seated with Christ. So set your hearts and minds on things above heavenly things. Heavenly concerns have a heavenward view and orientation. And then in verse three, he says, here's why.

Four, you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. Paul says, you died. Your old self is dead and gone. You are fundamentally different than you were before. Your life is now hidden with Christ in God. Jesus lived and he died for you. So your old life is gone.

You are hidden in the righteousness of Jesus. You are safe, you are saved, and you are new. And in verse four, he says, so here's what that means for your future. When Christ who is your life appears, then you'll also appear with him in glory.

He says, listen, because of your new life, because your old life is dead and gone, when Jesus comes back, you're gonna appear with him in glory. You're gonna live with him forever in a perfect, glorified body.

Without sin, without suffering, you're gonna share in the glory of Jesus Christ forever. And so Paul says, all these things are true about you, father of Jesus. So what? So what do I do with that? Look what he says in verse five.

He says, so put to death, therefore whatever belongs to your earthly nature. And then he lists them sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry. He says, all of those things are false worship. Those aren't good. Crucify those things.

Put those things to death. And he says, because of these, the wrath of God is coming. Paul says, crucify your sinful nature, your earthly nature, get rid of it. Destroy it. Your old self is gone. So live in a new way, crucify your sin nature.

And then Paul raises the bar in verse seven, looks what he says. He says this, you used to walk in these ways, in the ways that you want to live, but now you must rid yourselves of all these things, anger and rage and malice and slander and filthy language from your lips.

Paul again says, that's your old self. That's your sin nature. That's who you used to be. Don't live that way anymore. Get rid of these things. They're not fitting for you as a follower of Jesus. Now, I want you to think about church hurt. Right now, the church that you've experienced, or maybe some of your little Iowas experienced, was your church hurt because of all of those things?

I think the answer for most of us is, yeah, absolutely. Sexual immorality, impurity, anger, slander, malice, gossip. All of those reasons are fundamental reasons why people experience hurt in the church by other followers of Jesus. People get hurt when Christians don't act like Jesus when they live out their old self or their sin nature.

And Paul says, Hey, follower, Jesus, you should live differently. We must get rid of or crucify the old nature and the old self because we are fundamentally different than our pre Jesus selves. And in verse nine, he puts a little punctuation on this part says, and don't lie to one another since you've taken off your old self with its practices and you've put on the new self, which is being renewed in the knowledge and image of its creator.

Here, there is no gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, cian, slave or free. But Christ is all and is in all. So he says, don't live this way, Christian. Follow Jesus. You're new, you've been made new, crucify, put off the old self.

Get rid of all those old behaviors. Crucify those things. Get rid of them. They're not proper for you anymore because you died and you've been given new life. And then in verse 12, he, he turns a corner and he says, now here's what I want you to do. He says, therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves, literally put on, take off the old, but put on these things, wear these things around.

It says compassion and kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another. If any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord forgave you. Paul says, follower of Jesus, this is what your life should look like today, your new life in Jesus.

It should be compassionate and generous and kind and humble thinking of others more than you. Think of your yourself, gentle and patient, being quick to listen and slow to speak, being forgiving and not vengeful, and not living lustfully or gossiping.

And then verse 14, he continues, he says, and over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity, that that love is like the binding of a book. It it, it holds all these other qualities of compassion and kindness and humility and gentleness and patience.

It holds all those things together. Love is the binding that holds all these things together. And the last two verses, he says this, and let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts since as members of one body, you were called to peace and be thankful.

Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through Psalms, hymns, and songs from the spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. He says, let the peace of Christ rule your hearts.

Not politics, not winning, not being right. Peace should rule your hearts. And so should gratitude, your life should be filled with gratitude. Now, I don't know about you, but in these last four or five verses, as Paul describes the new life in Jesus and what we should put on and what we should wear around as fathers of Jesus, I want to be around people like this, compassionate and generous, kind, humble, loving, peaceful, grateful.

I want to be around people like that. And I want to be a person like that. I wanna live around with my new nature leading and not my old sinful nature leading, not perfectly 'cause we can't live these things out perfectly, but consistently, we can put off the old self and live more and more in the nature and the character of Jesus consistently.

And when we do, it paints a beautiful picture to the world of what Jesus's people can be like and what the church can be like. Not perfect, but consistent. So if I were to summarize this whole chapter here, here's what I'd say.

When we as Christians live out of our old lives and our old self and our sin nature, we start to focus on earthly things. And we do all kinds of awful things. We're sexually immoral, we're lustful, we're greedy, we're selfish, we're angry.

We gossip and we slander. And that hurts people, the very people that we're called to love and share life with. And when we do, so many people come to the conclusion that life is better outside of the church rather than inside of the church.

However, when we, as followers of Jesus put on, put off the old self, we crucify our old self, our old nature. We put on the new nature. We live lives of compassion and kindness and humility and gentleness.

We're forgiving, we're loving, we're peaceful, and we're grateful. Are we perfect? Not even close, we fail all the time, but we're consistent co consistently setting our minds on heavenly things, consistent and seeking to love God and others more consistent in being quick to listen and slow to anger.

When we do that, the world sees a loving and Christian community. The world sees loving Christians and begin to trust again and begin to open up again after church hurt to, to maybe reengaging and risking walking back into a church again.

And the research bears that out. You say, well, what brings people that have experienced church hurt back to church? We already know. They said, well, I'm not coming back, but, but here's some of the things they said would actually bring them back.

And these things are really, really important. And so the first one is this, Hey, God tells me to go back. God wrote it in the sky. Uh, I had the audible voice of God speak to me and I'm coming back. Others said, I find a church. I like translation.

I found a safe community. 27% said that a good pastor, 22%, which is convicting to me because not a bad pastor like all the other ones, but a good pastor, meaning a pastor, I trust that leads a, a. People that I trust, a church that cares about justice and compassion, right?

More than politics, 17% said that a good community, again, a community that I can look at and go, I want to be with that type of person or that group of people. My spouse wants to go, man, if you're in a church hurt spot right now, or your spouses and you're going, but they're not, don't give up.

16% said, if my spouse continues to work on me, I'll actually go. And then last one is a miracle one in seven, 15% said it take a miracle to bring me back. Well, here's the good news. God is a God of miracles. He does miracles every day.

I've seen all kinds of people return to the church after church hurt. And when you boil all this stuff together, what people that have experienced church, church need to experience is a paradigm shift about how they view and see the church.

And Christians. What they need is compelling evidence that says it's worth the risk. It's worth the risk to go back. It's worth the risk to reengage. And so here's where I want to close today and spend the rest of our time together in this.

What do we do practically if we've been hurt by the church or if we know someone who has, what do they need to hear? How do we need to respond to them in that spot that they're in right now? And I'm gonna give you three phrases that I want you to say to people who've experienced this church hurt that I think are very, very helpful in healing.

Okay? And here's the first one. The first one is this. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Forgive us. Forgive the church. I'm sorry. Listen, I I meet with a lot of people that have been hurt and burned by the church and, and almost to a person, every single one has said something like this.

Hey, the church has never apologized. A pastor or church leader has never said that they're sorry. And that is so sad and that's so awful. And so I just need you to know, Hey, friend, I am sorry if I have hurt you. I'm sorry if Pearl Lake Churches hurt you.

I'm sorry if the church or other Christians have hurt you on their behalf. I want to apologize for them. And just say, I'm so sorry that that thing or those things happened to you. And you need to know that Jesus is upset about what happened to you.

Jesus grieves when his church, the bride hurts people. And you've got every right to be upset and every right to be hurt for what happened to you. And I would say this, please forgive us. Please forgive. Don't stay stuck. Don't stay bitter. Colossians three 13 says, forgive as the Lord forgave you.

And there's no condition. It just says forgive because it's the best thing to do. So please don't stay stuck. Please don't stay bitter. Please forgive us for our role in the hurt in your life. And if you've got someone in your little Iowa who's in that church hurt camp right now, the best thing you can do is express care and empathy and listen and say, man, I'm so sorry that happened to you.

You don't have to defend other Christians. You don't have to defend me or the church. You don't have to know all the details. You just have to say, Hey man, I'm so sorry that that happened. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Please forgive us.

That's number one. Here's number two, which is what people need to hear and experience life inside of a no matter church is so much better than life outside of a no matter church. Here's the thing. Prairie Lake Church is a unique church, right?

We are not like other churches in this. We're a no matter church. And we say this every weekend, no matter who you are, where you've been, what you've done, or what's been done to you, church hurt. God loves you. And you can look for God here at Prairie Lakes Church.

And the beautiful thing is this, friends, every weekend at all of our campuses, people do, they walk in for the first time they encounter God in the community. And at our best, they experience a compelling group of people.

At our best Prairie Lake Church is a place that cares about what church hurt people care about. We care about justice and mental health and loving our communities and loving our neighbors at our best. We're a place where messy, I don't have it all together.

People can worship and connect at our best. We're a community of love. And the people who live out our new identity in Christ in compelling ways. That is a no matter church. You need a no matter church. I need a no matter church.

And when you are connected to this church and you're taking next steps, your life becomes a compelling reason. Irrefutable evidence that God is working, that they can trust you, that they can trust Prairie Lakes Church.

When you start to share not just these words, Hey, life is better inside this church. But when you actually start to share your story and say, here's how this, no matter church has transformed my life, here's how God has used this community to grow me and strengthen me and help me.

When you start to share those stories and not just these words, you are irrefutable evidence that actually taking the risk to be a part of a church again matters and is worth it. So if you're in the church hurt camp right now, I just want you to hear this.

Not all churches are the same. Not all church leaders are the same. No church is perfect because it's full of sinners. But at Prairie Lakes Church, we're no matter church. And that means this, we try as individuals and as our collective self to do our best, to put on the new self and to love people, to extend compassion and patience and forgiveness and love.

We do our best to create an environment where people that have experienced church hurt, can walk in and experience acceptance and love and connection in a way, in a way that they forgot could happen or stop believing could actually happen.

That's what it means to be a part of a no matter church. That's what it means to walk in the door of our no matter church. That's number two. Here's the last thing people need to hear from you. It's this. Come sit with me.

Four words, but they mean so much. And when I say, come sit with me, I'm not talking primarily about inviting them to church, although that's a part of come sit with me. I'm talking about loving people and investing in them and meeting them where they're at, and inviting them into your life.

Taking time to hear their story and share your story with them. That, that come sit with me is code for loving the people that God's put around you in your little Iowa, when you say, come sit with me to those in your Iowa, you're demonstrating that you care about their hurt and their pain.

You become proof, living, breathing example of what a Jesus follower is like when you can love people enough to help shift their perspective about the church and about other Christians. When you put on the new self as Colossians three says, and you live that out, you become a reason for people to go to church.

Not a reason for people to disengage from the church. Come sit with me means this. If you've been hurt by the church, if you've disengaged that you're welcome back, that we want you to be here, come sit with me as code around here for we want you to be at Prairie Lake Church.

I want you to be here. And so if you're in that camp of going like, man, I, I just don't know, I just wanna encourage you, have the courage to dip your toe back in the water. Try church again. You belong here. We want you here. We think that you can find a community here that will help change and shift your perspective about church.

I I'm gonna close this. Come sit with me part here with a, a quick little example from our Cedar Falls campus. So at our Cedar Falls campus on Thursday mornings, we have a ministry called Mops or Moms Next. And we have dozens and dozens of moms that show up with their kids.

And it's a beautiful thing. And last October, I was at the front door of our campus in Cedar Falls. I was holding the door open for moms. 'cause you know, they're coming in with like a baby and casserole and all that stuff.

And, and a woman walked up, Muslim woman, clearly Muslim, wearing Muslim attire from head to toe. And I said, Hey, good morning, welcome to Prairie Lake Church. And she said, good morning. And walked in. And I just thought, I gotta, I gotta catch this story because that doesn't happen every week at Prairie Lakes Church.

And she kept coming to mobs week after week. And, and the third week she was there back in October, here's what she said. Hey, my family and I moved here recently to Cedar Falls and this place, and she meant Mops. Prairie Lake Church is the only place that I felt loved, accepted, seen, and valued.

And part of that makes me want to cry because it's sad. And part of me makes me so encouraged and proud to know that that's what she experienced at Prairie Lake Church. Because you can imagine friends being a Muslim woman dressed as she is every single day socially appropriate for her culture.

Walking around the side glances the things that would be said about her or to her, the things her family's probably experienced, that the last place you think she would want to be to walk into, to feel love and accepted would be an evangelical church in northeast Iowa.

And yet, that's the place as much like socially and even theologically, doesn't believe that Jesus is the savior of the world, probably believes Jesus is a prophet, hopefully one day believes Jesus is her Lord and Savior.

But for now, here's what she knows. That's the place where I can go to feel loved and accepted and connected and welcome where the looks don't happen and the things that have been said to me aren't said to me anymore. And here's what that means to me.

Friends, when I, when I experience a story like that, here's what I know. Anybody, anybody with church hurt anybody who's been wounded by the church. Anybody who's wrestling through trusting the church, again, can walk into one of our campuses and experience that kind of environment and that kind of love and that kind of acceptance.

And so, friends, as I close, I just wanna just say this, your role Christian in healing church hurt is this. You put to death, you crucified these things. Sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, lying, anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language. Get rid of all that stuff.

That's the stuff that causes church hurt. And instead put on where around these things, compassion and kindness and humility and gentleness and patience, forgiveness, love, peace and gratitude. Living out those virtues prevents church hurt. And it helps heal those who've been hurt by the church.

And it helps 'em start to trust again. And it causes you to say these things. I I am sorry. Please forgive me. Please forgive us. Life inside of a no matter church is so much better than life outside of a church. And it says things like, come sit with us.

That mom at MOPS had the courage to say to a Muslim woman in her little Iowa, I know you don't believe like I believe, but I want you to come sit with me at Prairie Lake Church. And it made all the difference in her life. Hey, um, as a teaching team, pastor Jesse, pastor John and I wanted to say some things directly to all of you in a video that you're gonna watch right now.

And I just wanna encourage you to share this on social media. There's probably some people near the Iowa that need to hear what we have to say. So, so check this out. Hey, uh, Prairie Lakes, um, the three of us here, um, have the privilege, um, every single weekend of, um, coming to you and, and, and being, uh, your teaching pastor.

And it's something we take, we take really seriously. But um, before we're teaching pastors, any of us, we, were we're just pastors. Yeah. Um, we're just people who know the mess of relationships and do our best to imperfectly, uh, follow Christ, uh, by example.

But it's, but it's super imperfect. And, um, we are three people who both have navigated, but even at times, because we're centers just like anybody else have contributed to this dynamic of, of being in relationships, um, where, where we've been hurt and sometimes where we've we've hurt others. You the Hurting. Yeah.

So this, this is gonna be us just kind of coming to you and saying, um, to the best we can. Um, we're sorry. Yeah. That's a humility is, uh, something that, uh, is kind of hard earned sometimes. And, uh, we always wanna be the church that says, um, we are far from perfect.

Yes. We, we mess up and do dumb things Sometimes I think there's kind of some, to me there's like these three kinda levels to this. And one of 'em is the big C Church, you know, which is the church around the world over all the centuries, right.

Act starting with act. Right. There's been a lot of, a lot of, uh, great things that have come outta the church through the centuries and some really hard and ugly things Yes. Over time. And that's something that, that we're a part of this thing and that, uh, there's a, there's a sense that we own some of that too.

Sure. And, and it's, it's, it's messy at times. And so then there's just Prairie Lakes Church, right? So it goes from the big church around the world to Prairie Lakes. And, and we certainly have had our share of dumb things that we've done and mistakes that we've made.

And, and, uh, well, we never claim to be perfect. We also aren't gonna skirt the times that we did something or said something that was, that was wrong, sinful, hurtful, um, like that. And then, then I think that take it out, Prairie Lakes, kind of each of us as members like that, just us three, but all of us at the Prairie Lakes, um, we also have to own a little bit of the times that we, uh, behave or act in ways or say things or post things that, cause that probably weren't the smartest thing to do.

And we, we can't ignore those things. They, they do cause hurt. And it's, it's part of the, it's, it's all that contributes to some people who've said no to this thing called the church. I'm done. I'm done. Yeah. Yeah. And, and really when church hurt happens is when church leaders, church attenders members don't act like Jesus.

I mean, that's one of the biggest reasons for church hurt, is we don't model the life of Jesus in our lives. And, uh, people get hurt because we're all in the midst of our own sanctification, whether it's pastors or attendees or, or members or elders of a church.

And when we don't model our lives after Jesus, we end up hurting people. And, uh, for that, uh, we're sorry. Absolutely sorry on behalf of us three on behalf of Prairie Lakes Church, on behalf of the church, uh, we just want you to know, um, that we're sorry and, uh, church church's never a good thing.

And we're just sorry for that. It's part of this journey that all of us are on. Um, it's part of what Jesus continues to teach us about. Um, it's part of the reason that he said, you know, forgive 70 times seven, um, because, you know, he's certainly done that with us.

And, and we are, each of us, all of us in process of doing that, um, with you. And so and so. Listen, um, we are a no matter church, okay? No matter who you are, where you've been, what you've done, what you, what's been done to you, God loves you and you look for him here.

The last thing that we want is to use that as an excuse to say, oh, I'm messy. Oh, it's okay. It's no big deal. Um, but in the context of a no matter church, um, here's what you need to kind of hear from us. We, we need grace and we are in need of grace just as much of anybody else we are in need as of mercy, um, to the same extent that everybody else is.

And, uh, we're gonna do our very best to continue to lead by example. And so, um, so listen, if you're kind of hearing this, um, and, uh, um, maybe this is kind of stirring something up in you. Um, here's what we hope, we hope you give us, um, another chance, um, because uh, the church isn't about us, It's about Jesus.

That's right.